So Kate sent me a question asking how Harper came to be, and I realized that aside from my family and about 5 other people no one really knows about the situation so here’s the story, and mind you I won’t get too specific about some things, because they are better left between Harper’s father and I. So here goes…
I met Harper’s father in January of 2010, and we began dating pretty quickly. We both weren’t looking for anything serious so that’s about all it took for us to get together. Which sounds terrible, but before him every single one of my relationships was serious and complicated so the last thing I wanted was another relationship like that. He was never the best guy and I knew that, but he treated me decent and kept me company when I wanted it. I moved out on my own in April and was constantly working or at school, and he had gotten a job that required him to work a lot of overtime to train. The only time we saw each other was if he came over to spend the night or I went to his place. I didn’t mind though, because like I said the last thing I wanted was a relationship I had to work on. Well one night I got pretty wasted with a friend for her birthday, and he opted out of joining us so I came back to my place and passed out. He had stayed the night at my place, but left when I came home drunk. I felt bad, but didn’t think it was a huge deal. That’s beside the point though, he broke up with me over it, and we went our separate ways. I was lonely, but didn’t necessarily miss him just the company. I just went about my business.
Well about a week later I realized I was pregnant. I just knew. And I took a test, because I thought I was losing my mind. Who says that kind of stuff? But it came up positive, and I wasn’t too shocked. I called my mom and all she said was “Pack up your stuff you are coming to live with me. You can’t have my first grandchild and live 5 hours away.” After that conversation I just kicked into mom mode. A switch flipped and I just saw everything differently. I was worried about how to tell Harper’s dad, and decided it would be best to wait until he came to pick up the rest of his stuff so I could tell him in person. I text him and told him to come pick up his stuff that weekend. He came over Sunday, and I sat him down to tell him. By the way, he totally thought the reason I wanted him to come over is so I could convince him to get back together with me, which is hilarious really because we didn’t talk much after we broke up and I never mentioned trying to work things out. So it’s pretty hilarious when you think about how shocked he was when I told him I was pregnant. He didn’t believe me at first, still thinking I was trying to get him back, but after taking a test while he was there he was at a loss for words. He packed up his stuff and said he would call me. I told him I just thought he deserved to know since the baby was half of him, and he said he was in shock, but he would call me the next day. And he did, which shocked me, and he said all these things about being there for Harper and making sure she was taken care of. Then he didn’t call or text me ever again. I text him a few times inviting him to doctor’s appointments, but he never replied. I’d be lying if I said I was surprised. I never expect for him to try and be in her life.
So to make a long story short, I knew I was pregnant and I knew I was going to be a single mom from the get go. I have never minded it at all really. I prefer it this way. I have Harper to myself, and I never have to compromise on my parenting choices. I have no regrets with how I handled my pregnancy and if her dad ever decides to contact me I’ll leave it up to her, as long as she is old enough to make that decision. But he made his decision, and now it’s up to her if she wants to let him into her life.
Also, I want it to be known I was on the pill when I got pregnant. I took it every day at the same time, and never missed a day. So it is possible ladies! Always make sure you take every precaution possible if you aren’t planning on having a baby.
That being said I truly believe I was given Harper at a time in my life when I needed her. She is the greatest accomplishment I will ever achieve and I am so proud that she is mine. I don’t think I’m the greatest mom, but I don’t have one single regret about how I’ve raised her. She is smart, funny, and beautiful in every way. But I’m sure you guys already knew that.